FUNNY FUNNY FUNNY!

An extract from a TV show called The Big Bang Theory. Catch it on youtube!









And, something less funny.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phenolphthalein



I didn't know that phenolphthalein turns colourless in solutions with a pH of >10.



=O

A Rhetorical Question

If the Rubik's cube turned into a human, would it be a male or a female?

Hmm...

Well, this little fact about the Rubik's Cube from www.rubiks.com should clear it up:

Frau Schmidt of Dusseldorf in Germany, sued her husband for divorce in 1981, citing the Cube as correspondent. She complained: 'Gundar no longer speaks to me and when he comes to bed he is too exhausted from playing with his Cube to even give me a cuddle'.

The answer is obvious now. The cube would be a woman. A femme fatale. =O
Who would've THOUGHT!?


Here's another dumb fact about the Cube.

"Easiest color to solve on a Rubik's Cube? black. Simply remove all the little colored stickers on the cube, and each side of the cube will now be the original color of the plastic underneath - black. According to the instructions, this means the puzzle is solved."- Steve Rubenstein
OKAY... at least Mr Rubenstein is technically correct... AND has a sense of humour at that!

let gravity take its toll on us

This was extracted from a conversation I had with Bahiah today morning... (with kind permission from Bahiah!)

bahiahhh says:
sighhhh

bahiahhh says:
i'm floating

bahiahhh says:
why nina and cassie not online

xinyi says:
I thought you were a down to earth person, bahiah

bahiahhh says:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAA



From this, I we can see that jokes can be re-used! (refer to my previous post on Nina being down-to-earth. ) Amazing huh. Just don't use it on the same person, twice.

It's Hee-Hee-Hilarious!

How to be the type of nerd that girls love

How to Click A Mouse


Someone save me from laughing too much!

It made our hearts skip a beat!

No, I wasn't referring to a guy in the title above.

I was referring to the Sony Ericsson W580i phone! (tra la la~)

Click Here to View the Heart-Throb


By the way! Here's a website you can visit when you feel like procrastinating.
http://typera.tk/index.cws
It allows you to check your typing speed. Mine was 277 keys per minute. I have potential!

ALAS. Freedom. Well, almost.

We had our Chemistry Prelims yesterday. I found the paper okay. Not particularly easy or hard. pH7.

We had our Teachers' Day Celebrations in TKGS today! (sorry, no photos!)

I was slacking off like a pair of slacks carelessly flung over my shoulder. Therefore... I FORGOT TO PREPARE MY CARDS YESTERDAY.

OH, THE HORROR OF TIME LIMITS!

I hastily YET meticulously created the cards with the timely help of Jael the Art Master today morning, in our classroom. It turned out reasonably well. And I was especially happy with the PINK coloured one we gave to Mr Yong.


The front of the card read : "ARE YOU HAPPY?" For counselling services, please call 1900-112-6868. Calls are charged at S$50.00 per minute. So cheap! Call now!

The second page of the card read: "You should be happy! Because today is Happy Teachers Day." (pun fully intended)

The third page of the card read: "Mr Yong: Thank you for being our No. (0.5log₁₀100) robotics teacher! -From Somebody-Out-There 06' (P.S. but this was written in 2007)"

And the final back page of the card was the page I was happiest with. (of course) That's because it read:

DID YOU KNOW...

That Knowledge = Power -------(1)

Time = Money ---------(2)

But Power = Work Done/Time, so by substituting equations (1) and (2),

Knowledge = Work Done/Money

Money = Work Done/Knowledge


This means that when knowledge approaches zero, money approaches INFINITY!
So stop studying now!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mr Yong was somewhat amused. Ho hum. But what really got me ecstatic today was to see Ms Tee smile. When Jael and I were talking to Mr Yong, Ms Tee passed by. I cracked a smile, afraid that she would tell me to stop chatting and go play with my FunScope^TM, which is a modified cathode ray oscilloscope consisting of two positively charged Y-Plates.

But, appallingly, Ms Susan Tee BEAMED at me.

Yes! She BEAMED! She was so pretty when she revealed her normally mysterious teeth that I had to turn away, to avoid the visual purple in my eyes from getting bleached forever. Her teeth shone with a brightness of about 120 Candelas, about the brightness of a 100W lamp. Oooh.

And Ms Tee later went onstage to receive the Most Patient Teacher award. I find that weird, because Ms Tee is a very healthy woman filled with vitality. Hmm. I wonder.

Sigh. We are such Aluminium Blocks. We form passivation layers (like aluminium oxide, Al₂O₃ ) around us whenever Ms Tee smiles. We don't know how to react.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

You know how Nina always thinks that she belongs to her home, which was originally in the clouds? Cassandra and I were chatting about that a few minutes ago.


xinyi says:
what happened to nina

xinyi says:
she went away?

xinyi says:
=O

cassie--muggerina. says:
to the clouds maybe?

cassie--muggerina. says:
HAHAHAHA

xinyi says:
haha

xinyi says:
thats her true home

xinyi says:
gravity caused her to fall

xinyi says:
at least she's now a down to earth person

xinyi says:
AHAH

cassie--muggerina. says:
!!!!!!!!

cassie--muggerina. says:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

xinyi says:
HAHA



And that's how Cassandra fell of her chair laughing!!! HAHAHAHAHA!

bet I made you go HURH?!

1) I have no idea what a benzene ring is, nor do I have any idea of what is going on in the song. But anyway, here's a chemistry song presented proudly to you by a MIT student.

http://www.mitadmissions.org/topics/life/student_life_culture/benzene_back.shtml

Getcha benzene on.


2) Any driver's dream.

http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/electronic/8e9a/

The driving LED emoticon!


3) Like heavy metal? Of course you do.
http://www.thinkgeek.com/tshirts/science/8953/

(that is, if you take chemistry)


4) And the final website... It's really cool.

http://web.mit.edu/sp.778/www/index.html

The MIT toy product design website! =D

The Art of Coin Balancing

When we were done with drinking our blub-blub teas today, Cassandra, Nina, and I were sitting around, waiting for our small intestines to digest complex carbohydrates.

And suddenly

Nina started to balance her coins on the bench. It was a beautiful and complete set of coins.

From big to small... In proper order... Just like a homologous series.

$1, 50c, 20c, 10c, and..... 5c!

Too bad that the difference in Mr between two consecutive members of this family doesn't differ by 14...

I challenge of you to find a coin balancer as good as Nina!!!

By the way, some of you may have noticed something different whenever you tap your ezlink card in an SBS bus. Something purple and orange.

it's nice and bright, right?

And finally, for those of you who haven't seen a 4x4 cube before!

I managed to solve 3 layers! =D After that, I was simply clueless.

Nice view from this angle!

But look at this.

Top view.

ARGH! Oh how it breaks a 3x3 speedcuber's heart to see an unsolved cube. In the end, I just decided to mess everything up. Guess what? I can't even solve ONE layer now. Sob sob sob...

(basically you have to form all the centres, pair up the same edges, and when you're done with that, you can solve it using 3x3 formulas) SOUNDS EASY! Hehe.

To my 4/7 friends... Sigh. Mrs Chan has rained chemistry worksheets on us. (as mentioned in the previous post) So sad lah. But then again, practice makes perfect!

"What other people can do, you all must be able to do. What other people cannot do, you all must be able to do."-- Mrs Chan

So basically we have to do everything.

Girls were meant to own the cube.

EVERYBODY!

If you think that only guys can speedcube, just look at this girl named Brittany.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R2dE3ltt_i4

YAYNESS! PRO GIRL CUBER! FINALLY!

But of course the first pro girl cuber would be Jessica Fridrich. La la la. We wouldn't be able to perform F2L today if not because of her.

And by the way. That mysterious guy on your *LEFT* hand side is none other than...

Tyson Francis Mao !!!
one of my favourite speedcubers.

But why isn't he cubing??? He is one of the best cubers ever. Btw I posted a link to the human tetris video on his blog last week. And he actually thanked me for it. Sort of.
OH THE WONDERS OF THE INTERNET.

Back to me. My current average: 1min +
My current lucky timing: 54 seconds

Aww man. Looong way to go.

But I am SURE I can achieve Brittany's averages after the O levels.

For now, I'll have to finish my Chemistry worksheets. Now THAT's a long way to go. (well, Hwa Chong JC's still my top priority for now!)


If you haven't had enough of the dreaded (?) Rubik's cube, watch THIS!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-sXtSC2KLE0
The Siamese Cube. *faints*


Still not enough? Then visit this channel. http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=gvdlfs





And let's end off with a joke today.

Why do stars smoke?

Because they have 'tar' in them!

[ Joke created by Nina in the MRT ] Thanks Nina!

Appalling Videos

[Above] The Simpsons and Tetris

[Below] A scientific viewpoint of The Simpsons (Charles Darwin anyone?)

And finally, a Japanese gameshow about... HUMAN TETRIS!

(note: this is terribly hilarious)

auntified

If you have the Female magazine at home, check out the LAST PAGE!

Joanne Peh is modelling for Bonia handbags!

*gasp!*

*shock!*

*WHAT?!*

ARE YOU APPALLED BY THIS?

I've had this impression since I was a child that most Bonia bags are targeted at aunties. No offence to aunties here, but their customer base is predominantly made up of aunties.

So, why is Joanne Peh advertising for them?

I can think of 4 reasons.

1) She likes Bonia bags for some peculiar reason
2) Bonia is paying her a ridiculously substantial amount for this ad.
3) Joanne Peh is being long-sighted. She's aspiring/preparing to become an auntie.
4) Bonia wants to change their image and inject youths into their customer base.

I guess the 4th reason makes the most sense. Hmm.


Here are some new and boring updates!

-My tuition teacher for maths is apparently preparing to start her own blog. Wow...?!
(or was she just kidding with the guys?)

-NEW SPEEDCUBING TIMING! 54 seconds. =D I'm cutting down on cubing, hehe.

-the $8 Dr Grip mechanical pencil my dad bought for me a year ago is now not functioning properly =(
ARAGSBJSSJAHADSKJADDSA^%&*GBJBA
(the above gibberish was shown to express my discontent and fury)

-I linked Cassie! Hello Cassie!!! =)

And I didn't know that Elain visits my blog too. HIEEE!!! =D

Reminiscences of PRIMARY SCHOOL!

http://www.stanthonyscanossianpri.moe.edu.sg/staff_teaching.html

Found this site from the MOE database of schools in Singapore. =D

And boy DO I SPOT MANY FAMILIAR FACES! HEHE!!!
(and why are all the teachers female?)

With special thanks to Mdm Chng Meng Huat. She gave Yi Tian and I the opportunity to have our comic published in a book which *used* to be sold in bookstores. =P

More special thanks to...

Mrs Rita Teo, (^_^)
Mdm Rahat, (another nice teacher)
Mrs Wong Boh Heng, (who puts on too much blusher sometimes. But she's a GREAT chinese teacher)
Mrs Rowena Yap (just look at her hair now! Haha),
Ms Ginnie Quek (for giving me high marks for my artwork, LOL),
Mdm Kong (she quit teaching Chinese in my Primary school some years back, but we shall always remember her 300-word chinese spelling tests, huge hairbun, traditional chinese clothes, strict-ness, and scolding. Junie Loh would fondly remember her I believe. =P For confiscating her library-borrowed storybook and not returning it to her. Whoops.)
and Mdm Ernie! (for being so strict, yet such a great form teacher.)

BTW! the new chinese teacher, Ms Goh Beng Hong, does bear some uncanny resemblance to a Hong-Kong-based actress!!! WTH!

And I wonder what is up with Mrs Emelyn Ho. She is really pretty in person, but somehow her smile cranked up in that pic. Oh well. As Mr Yong says...

"Shit happens, if not you'll get constipation."

Yeah right! I can remember dropping the miniscule lego robotics kit pieces all over the grass patched carpark outside the Science Centre... All because I only held the top of the box.

The resonating clanking sounds of lego pieces bouncing off the concrete floor...

xinyi : "OH! SHIT! OH SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT WHAT DID I DO SHIT!!!"

Rest of Somebody-Out-There: "........................" -_-

And then Mr Yong mumbles his shimmering, golden, somewhat timely and wise words. (as seen above.)

Yup! What goes up must come down. What goes around comes around. What goes in must come out through the other end. HOORAY FOR EGESTION!

Can't wait for 5.30pm to come. Joining Su Ann at her Social Studies tuition, because I am absolutely desperate for an A1 in Combined Humanities.
Oh quantum leap.

Now I'm going off to study physics. Haven't been studying properly during the holidays. Just don't feel like studying, sigh. Hwa Chong JC. MIT. Glittering gates of Hwa Chong JC please open for me!!!

And to you my fellow O-leveller. Mug hard and score, live long and prosper. (shows star wars handsign)

PS. EDHA EMAILED US! If you didn't get Edha's email, mail me at lola_estelle AT hotmail DOT com!!! I'll foward it to you. But of course, if you're some stalker going after her, then get yourself lost in the island shown in the TV show LOST. Byeee!

PPS. My aunt bought a 4x4 rubik's revenge cube for me while she was enjoying herself in Hong Kong. GREATTTT! *weeps in a corner of the room*

PPPS. The guy from the social studies tuition centre is really bored. When he saw my email address on the form, he said "You didn't grow up in my generation. Lola is not a name you want to go around with.". Then LATER, he said: "Ok, so LOLA LIM, how much did you score for SS in your Mid-Year Exams?"

well. I DO NOT HAVE AN ENGLISH NAME, SO PLEASE CALL ME XINYI LAHHHH!

Look how hard I'm studying nowadays!

In fact, I've been studying SO hard that this is what happened:

[insert picture of bandaged right index finger here]

GREAT! A papercut from my beloved GCSE Physics Textbook. Love can be a painful thing.

It feels wonderful. Now I can't cube AND type properly.

[weeps melancholically in a corner of the room]

Sorry for whining here. =D

Why do you blog?

Jael posed this question to me in an email. My answer? Here goes:
(note: I added some extra stuff to one of the examples below in green)

-----------------------------------------------------

I am obsessed with the computer and the internet. (and not to mention, speedcubing.)

I come across interesting jokes, pick-up lines, stories, or news pretty often on the net. As you may know, I also am obsessed with excess info.
(eg. what is the name for the rate of change of acceleration? Answer: Jerk. Not tested in O lvls, but whatever.)

However, a lot of excess info read by me can potentially be forgotten. So, my blog can store all these excess info, for the benefit of not only myself, but everyone.

My blog also doubles up as a diary, where I can share the most absurd happenings in life with readers of my blog. But I do NOT post TOO MANY posts about my life in my blog. Most bloggers do that, but I normally find these posts excruciatingly boring.

(eg. Oh you know, like, today I went out with my friends to watch a movie, and, like, it was like, so totally fabulous. I mean *totally*~. And we went shopping, manicure, pedicure, manifest, manimani, padifields, etc etc etc....)

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

Oh. And the final reason why I blog is because of HTML and Photoshop. =P My blog gives me an excuse to practice using HTML and Photoshop.

Hope you found my answer satisfactory. Hehe! =D

---------------------------------------------------------

I thought that it was a rather brilliant idea to ask why exactly do people blog.

We know, you know, I know, they know, a LOT of people blog.

But WHY do they blog? Does blogging have any meaning? Any practical use? Or do people blog because of peer pressure?

Hmmm. Have to wait for Jael to tell me the results.

---------------------------------------------------------------

By the way, she has also started a survey on whether National Education has been effective. If my blog had lots of readers I might have asked her to post the survey here. But then again, I'd prefer to keep this blog somewhat private. The best treasures are always hidden. HEHE. (hello Miss Ruby Teo! I just found out that you discovered my blog through google, right? =D Welcome!)

Back to the point! When I was in primary school, EVERYONE sang the National Anthem LOUDLY and PROUDLY, even if we were pathetically out of tune. I mean it. Go ask girls around my age who were also from St Anthony's Canossian Convent Primary. (but I do not know about the situation now.)

The first day I set my foot in the assembly ground of TKGS and heard the majestic National Anthem start to play, I was more than prepared to blare the lyrics out horribly. (just kidding. I can sing! badly.)

HOWEVER, just before the "Ma" of "Mari kita" resonated from my trachea, I noticed that absolutely no one was going to sing it. Not to even mention singing it LOUDLY.

To prevent severe public embarassment and schoolwide attention on my poor sec-1 self, I just mumbled all the way through.

Until today, I am still imitating Jay Chou while singing "Majulah Singapura". Yes, I still mumble all the way through. As you can see, peer pressure is definitely a lot higher than 1 atm.

Speedcubing is not for the weak-hearted

Speedcubing is currently one of my favourite hobbies! =D

I tried to learn the Fridrich(CFOP) method of solving the Rubik's Cube today.

And I was absolutely flabbergasted at the number of algorithms and cube configurations I had to memorise.

(it's about 50+ algorithms in total?! Refer to www.learn2cube.com)

THEREFORE, I am just going to stick to Tyson Mao's beginner method of solving the cube. Sigh. I'll leave Fridrich method for after the O levels. What a long wait.

I tried 'speed-solving' the cube today... and my timing is 2 minutes 53.73 seconds.
Which is absolutely NOT impressive,(and not exactly speed-solving) since 'speed-solving' the cube means solving the cube under 20 seconds. I'm really far from it for now. =P

(And I believe that around 10 seconds were probably wasted because my cube got constipated! ARGH! Does anyone know where to buy the original Rubik's cube??? =/)

My current aim is to solve it with the beginner's method in 60 seconds. =D hehe.

BTW, if you're interested to learn how to solve the cube, go to Tyson Mao's website at www.tysonmao.com and download his tutorial for beginner cubers. I used it, and I think it's great.(the bad thing about it is that it doesn't have pictorial diagrams...)
www.deepcube.net, on the other hand, provides good diagrams.

And if you're going to visit those sites... Happy Cubing!

new layout!

Hello my fellow homosapiens!
What did you notice?????



NEW LAYOUT! =D

The mid-years are over, and I finally got some time to design a PROPER photo-montage kind of thing. The fruit of my labour is seen on top. Einstein with a lollipop.

Here's a breakdown of what I had to do to get that picture:

1) Endless searching for HIGH RESOLUTION pictures of einstein sticking out his tongue.

(BTW, the tongue thing was not edited by me. Einstein REALLY stuck out his tongue in one of his pictures. If I'm not wrong, that picture was taken on one of his birthdays, and he decided to have some fun with the camera. Funny guy.)

2) Another round of searching for a scientific-looking person in a labcoat. In HIGH RESOLUTION. A picture of a doctor from gettyimages.com was the best I could find. (furthermore, the original picture of the doctor already had a lollipop in his hand. GREAT!)

[I hereby express my thanks to Nina here for recommending me to go to gettyimages.com... THANKS NINA! =)]

(yes I have an obsession with high resolutions)

3) Cut out the doctor's face.

4) Cut out Einstein's face from the original picture of him. (some tough work here, his hair was a major problem since I wanted the edges to be perfectly smooth.)

5) Paste Einstein's face onto doctor's face, colour in einstein's face. (the original picture of him was in black and white, had to colour it in!)

6) Find some complicated-looking mathematical workings and put them in the background. Lower opacity of math workings.

7) Copy and paste some digits of Pi onto the left hand side of the picture... behind einstein. (Pi=3.141592653589793.....)

8) Smudge Albert's hair around to make it look less pixelated

9) Remove freckles from Albert's face, blur face to give the Botox effect.

10) Tah Dah~


Oh. I actually edited one of the Blogger templates (Rounders 2) by just placing my einstein pic at the top. And the result is what you see now. Shall be making more minor adjustments to this layout.

Lalala I'm very contented and happy with the current layout! =D
Can't stop beaming at it. HEHE.


And finally, some lame jokes for you.

There is this person named HAPPY. What is Happy's gender?

Answer: Male

Why?: Because of "Happy Male" (sounds abit like happy meal if you read it out loud)


What is Happy's occupation?
Answer: Nurse

Why? : Because of HappyNurse. (read that out loud quickly. happyNurse=Happiness)


Which shopping centre does Happy love to visit?
Answer: Lucky Plaza

Why? : Because "Happy go Lucky"


Why are all of Happy's friends living in trees?
Answer: Happy Tree Friends

---------------end of lame jokes----------------

Here's a TKGS joke from Su Ann:

What do you get when you push Mrs Judy Kong down the stairs?

Answer: J.K. Rowling


Note: With no offence to Mrs Kong here! She's a great PE teacher ok. =D


finally, HAVE A PHOTON FILLED DAY!

Mathletes

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ooa8nHKPZ5k

one of the nerdiest videos on Youtube available so far.

Better watch ah. You amaths student.

Niceness~

Sony's new Flash MP3 Player!
In PINK!

Click link below to see the minor specs:
http://www.sonystyle.com.sg/sonystyle/jsp/bigproduct/bigproductdisplay.jsp?Level1=26946&Level2=2038&Level3=4110&MaterialNumber=17557815

And it's neat-looking. It's from Sony, and almost all Sony stuff have great designs.
The only question I have about this thing is...

HOW did Sony manage to build an actual functioning COLOURED display screen on some pink coloured mirror-looking thing?

HOW?? WHY?? I can't figure it out.

And oh yes... That's all there is to its looks, right?
Personally I think the COOLEST thing about it is its battery.

3mins charge=full battery life

WAH!


P.S. It isn't a WalkLady, it's a WalkMan.
So why does it come in PINK?
Watch the video to find out.



Uh, you don't have to take the video seriously.

Calculators and Metal Extraction

Note: this is an ORIGINAL joke created by Jael and I.


Q: Why are 3 Casio calculators found at the bottom of a blast furnace in the process of iron extraction from haematite?




*suspense*




A: Calcium Oxide formed from the decomposition of Calcium Carbonate in the furnace reacts with the impurity, Silicon Dioxide in haematite.

CaO + SiO2 --> CaSiO3

And this forms Calcium Silicate.
Or rather, 3 Casio Calculators, if you examine the chemical formula of Calcium Silicate.

If you still don't get why there are 3 casio calculators, think of it in this way.

Let CaSiO be represented by the letter X.

So,
(CaSiO3) = (CaSiO)(3) = (X)(3) = 3X = X+X+X =Casio calculator+casio calculator+casio calculator=3 casio calculators



Wow that maths was worse than calculus.

Oh wait.

Is that you laughing at that joke? =O

------------------------------------------------------------------------

now, back to reality!
HAPPY LABOUR DAY IN ADVANCE!

I guess this year we'll really be going through labour on labour day.
(bad pun)
Think of all the piles of notes we'll be going through...
The amount of amaths we'll be doing...
Amaths...Geog...Bio...Physics...

Oh my Holey Partially Permeable Membrane!!!!!!!!!!
(i wonder if you noticed the second bad pun ^_^ HINT: read it out loud)



Ok. Let me spread some helpful golden words of advice.
We should all think POSITIVE.

There was this quote made by Helen Keller, an insipring author, who is blind.
She said: "Keep your face to the sunshine, and you'll never see the shadows."

I first heard of this when my MindChamps instructor, Kayne, wrote it on the board. I mulled over it for a minute when he was explaining the meaning of it to us.

Alas, my unhealthy obsession with science caused this to be blurted out from my buccal cavity. (mouth=buccal cavity,for all you non-biological-folks out there)

"Uh... Then if there's a solar eclipse, this quote is technically wrong, hor?"

Kayne: "....."

Class: *stares at science boffin*

Eh... all physics students out there... I am not exactly wrong, right??? At least technically.

Oohh ya I bought this Biore Pore Pack today. Tried one. And got amused. You won't believe how many clogged pores I have. I didn't believe my sebum glands either. Though I am still disgusted at how many of those 'things' are stuck onto the pore pack, I am absolutely amazed by it.

Looking at the amount of oil my nose produces per unit time, all that oil on the pore pack could have been used to fry an egg. I mean seriously!!!

In conclusion I think biore pore packs are good. Hehe. Happy with the results. =D

Have a great day!

Nerdiness

found these jokes on a hwa chong institution chemistry website.
Read on to find out how a chemistry nerd expresses his love.
(hello mrs chan)
enjoy!

What does one do with a dead body? Barium
They should have seen the doctor first, he'd Curium.
Perhaps with a housplant, a Germanium.
And if they stole it, the police would Cesium.
Locked up for life, in Irons.
They would go crazy in jail, a Silicon.
Maybe they're into plastic surgery.
What does the surgeon do for low cheeks, Lithium.
To large gashes? Sodium.


A Neutron walked into to a bar and said: "How much for a drink?"
And the bartender said: "No charge!"


Q: Why did the white bear dissolve in water?
A: It was polar


HAHAHA!!!

and this love poem is my absolute favourite.


I am attracted to you
Like an electron to a proton
Together we form an ionic bond
Though we are opposite charged ions
I am drawn towards you
Our love is unique as an orbital
For only two electrons can fill this space
As my love for you increases
My energy level rises
I am in this excited state
Increasing the tendency to form a chemical bond
I was an element
It took you to make me a compound substance
Falling in love with you is a chemical reaction
Which cause my love for you to grow
Ours is an exothermic love
Each for giving off love not just absorbing it
Sometimes you do something especially nice
Which speeds up the chemical process
Like a catalyst in my increasing love for you
I realise we have our inhibition periods
And sometimes I am selfish enough
To be an endothermic reaction
Only absorbing your love
The feeling I have for you is so intense
It cannot be measured in kilojoules
Often I have to make a qualitative elementary analysis
To understand and love you more
But I don't expect to know your empirical formula
You are too complex a person for that
When you are gone
I am a noble gas
An inert substance
When I am without you
The world seems still
And I am at equilibrium.


Cannot tahan! Maybe Hwa Chong boys are the best potential boyfriends ever. (I think.)

WHAHAHAHA

Some jokes I came across from the Universal Casio Forum!
*NOTE* Extremely lengthy post.

Math Jokes:

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs.
A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do,but married men are a lot more willing to die.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings,poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next."
They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.


And that, was for all math lovers out there. (I am a recent convert, I used to hate maths, until I joined Ms Ruby Teo's tuition class.)


Interesting But Useless Facts

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months, and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.

If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.

On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.

You can't kill yourself by holding your breath.

Americans, on the average, eat 18 acres of pizza every day.

Every time you lick a stamp, you're consuming 1/10 of a calorie.

You are more likely to be killed by a champagne cork than by a poisonous spider.

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do.

In ancient Egypt, Priests plucked every hair from their bodies, including their eyebrows and eyelashes.

A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.

The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight, and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.

Polar bears are left-handed.

The animal with the most taste buds is the catfish. It has over 27,000 of them.

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. That's equivalent to a human jumping the length of a football field.

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death.

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates mating by ripping the male's head off. (!!!)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.

Butterflies taste with their feet.

Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.

A cat's urine glows under a black light.

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

Starfish don't have brains.


Really Stupid Quotes for the Reading Pleasure of the Really Smart You

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever." * Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest

"I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law" * David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes.

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life." * Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign

"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body." * Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward

"They're multipurpose. Not only do they put the clips on, but they take them off." * Pratt & Whitney spokesperson explaining why the companycharged the Air Force nearly $1000 for an ordinary pair of pliers.

"We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees." * Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks

"China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese." *Former French President Charles De Gaulle

."That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it." * A congressional candidate in Texas

"When I have been asked during these last weeks who caused the riots and the killing in L.A., my answer has been direct and simple: Who is to blame for the riots? The rioters are to blame. Who is to blame for the killings? The killers are to blame." *Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle on the complex social issues behind the Los Angeles Riots.

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." * Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle

"What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is." * Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle at a fundraising event for the United Negro College Fund. (He was attempting to quote the line "a mind is a terrible thing to waste".)

=D

The Way I Think

Whee

Spoofs

If you're a Singaporean, chances are you know the song "One People One Nation One Singapore".

Yeah you get which one I was referring to.

I've just recalled one spoof of this song which Mrs Joseph, my primary school teacher, taught us...

One table,
four people,
let's play mahjong!

Yup. Later Junie and I gleefully added on to the chorus.

That's the way we win money,
forever more!

Due to the horrifying yet glorifying workload which has been presented to me so far my sec4 life in TKGS, I just thought of another spoof.

One mugger,
Two muggers,
TKGS!

That's the way we score six points
for O levels!

I feel that I can really relate to the 'one mugger, two muggers' part. SAMANTHA!!! She hasn't been eating her rightful share of recess nowadays.
oh great. We have to bear with it don't we. =D

on serious issues

Hydrogen Iodide, humans!

To all my darling darlie juniors:
secondary 4 life is inversely fun. The amount of work we get can get bananas even in relatively peaceful times like January. Peaceful because there are no major exams to scare the daylights and photons out of us. But it seems queer. I actually feel that sec 4 life is GOOD FOR ME. I feel like I'm consistently hardworking nowadays. (whoops! But here I am blogging before doing my homework. =D)

hehe!

On teachers:
I like the way Mrs Irene Wong (ok, Ms Irene Wong) teaches us Social Studies. Her explanations have cleared most of my doubts about SS. (Thanks for that SEQ type 1,2,3 thing today!) I have heard students criticizing her, (eg. ms wong is boring, she cannot teach, yadder infinity) but I STILL think that her teaching is great! Imagine a 3-science student like me NOT FALLING ASLEEP DURING HER CLASS! It's a miracle itself. She makes SS so easy. Haha. We'll see how I do for next week's SS CA. =)

Ooh yes. Mrs Chan! Her chemistry lessons are great, but I don't like memorizing tables... (testing for cations, anions, gases) Tables make me sleep. (on the other hand I sleep on tables during Legacy) My favourite bit about Mrs Chan's lessons is the last 10 minutes or so... When she talks to us and motivates me indirectly to work harder. And when she tells us that we can do it. Or tells us some interesting stuff that we should not know.

And I'm taking this opportunity to thank Mrs Chan for helping me to smell Sulphur Dioxide gas. It smelt wonderful. Not. HAHA!

Mr John Lavin... Our new english teacher. He is super tall.(angmoh, what) Like one head above my puny build of 161.2m and 52.9kg. He makes me feel SHORT. But his english lessons are pretty fun and he's really nice. >_<>

Ms Yeo... ok, I was pissed off when she put me in amaths remedial for term 1 and 2. (a1 not good meh?) Very pissed off. But I later realised that... Hey, she cares for us and really wants us to score well. Sorry Ms Yeo. Took your concern in the wrong way. =( Miss Yeo has this incredible ability that enables her to know whether I've studied hard for a test or not. So Shi Hui, start doing amaths. NOW. If not Miss Yeo scold you. =P

On Friends:
Had a somewhat serious chat with Samantha today after recess. I learned that leaning on the metal barricade thingy (that prevents you from plummeting from the 4th floor to the 1st floor at 9.81m/s^2 until terminal velocity), and looking at the circular staircase while chatting is therapeutic. Sam shocked me by telling me that she feels that her classmates don't like her very much. I have the same sentiments. And it's partly because I like being alone. I've thought all along that Sam is a very sociable girl. Oh well. Samantha is like the most fructose-like girl ever.

It has been scientifically proven (and studentally proven) that sugar dissolves in water. That is why Sam should not stand in the rain, which is slightly corrosive too.

Ok enough crap. Honestly, I think that everyone in my class dislikes me or has something against me. Especially this girl who wears armani specs. You know who you are. And I don't know why they don't like me. Some say it's because I am... 'sciency'. I'm proud of that proven hypothesis, actually. To cut a long story short, I have NO IDEA why people don't seem to like to talk to me. The only reason I can think of is that I'm quiet and reserved.
Or maybe, everyone views everyone as an academic rival. And if that is true, this world would be a sad place. And I think that's true, because the world IS a sad place in the first place, because everyone wants to be in the first place. Pun intended. (btw i am NOT depressed, just voicing my opinions, and squeezing humour out of sadness)

The feeling of stress is now rendered as nothing to me. Must be the work of countless CAs every week.

Inspite of all these sad truths, a shining, gleaming white streak that travels in a straight line at a velocity of 2.997 x 10^8m/s remains in my head. And to make things better, this streak carries photons. And this streak of photons are undergoing total internal reflection in the wires of my metal-lined brain, releasing happiness-inducing particles by the photoelectric process along the way.

It's SLS.
(the above description was pure nonsense that was made to sound cheem)

But SLS is not nonsense. It is essential ISsense. (geddit, NON is the opposite of IS. kinda.)

I really look foward to mugging with ju and sam in the library before the O Levels. Ju can help us with amaths, Sam can help me with humanities, and I can..... help to eat whatever cookies Sam's mum baked? HAHAHA! Mugging with a few (not too many) good friends is fun.

And I am already imaging myself in Hwa Chong JC and Sam in NJC... We could meet for lunch. LOL. And I will bring my science-and-binomial-theorem-loving friends along with my albert-einstein-loving self.

Ah. Goals.